为孩子的绽放创造正确的氛围
发布日期:2018-01-22 11:53

 

During a recent conversation between Sadhguru and Jonathan Coslet, CIO of TPG Holdings and Board of Trustees member of the prestigious Menlo School in the United States, Sadhguru answers a question about the pressures young people face, both social and academic.

在最近一次萨古鲁与德太投资(世界最大的私募股权投资机构之一)的首席信息官兼美国著名的曼隆学校董事会成员乔纳森·科斯雷特(Jonathan Coslet)的交谈中,萨古鲁回答了一个关于孩子们所面临的社会和学业压力的问题。

 

Question: Teenagers are under a lot of pressure academically and socially. How can children create the right balance between continuing to move forward in their lives and getting the grades that they need to get, whether they be As, or Bs, or Cs or anything in the middle, and still accomplish the balance of joy and a path they can feel good about?

问:青少年在学业和社交方面承受着巨大的压力。无论这分数是A级、B级、C级或任何中间级别,孩子们该如何创造适宜的平衡,能够继续开展自己的生活并取得他们需要取得的分数,并在喜悦与让他们感觉良好的道路之间取得平衡?

 

Sadhguru: If you look at the education a child goes through, you spend a certain number of years to learn the alphabet. To learn to write and read sentences, you spend a certain number of years. To learn a certain amount of mathematics, you invest some years. Why is it that there is no time given to learn the ways of how you function from within? It is because we have set a priority in society that it is not important. I am saying this with utmost pain – I was told that over 3000 children attempt suicide in the United States every day. In India, over 10,000 children commit suicide every year. How can we ignore this aspect of life? Have we lost our sense?

萨古鲁:看看孩子的教育经历,要花几年的时间去学习字母表;想学会写字和读句子,要花几年时间;要学一定量的数学,得投入几年时间。为什么没有时间去学习你内在的运行方式?这是因为我们在社会层面上已经设定了优先级,而这被认为是不重要的。我非常痛苦地说——我被告知,在美国每天有超过3000名儿童试图自杀。在印度,每年有超过1万名儿童自杀。我们怎能忽略生活的这一方面?我们失去理智了吗?

 

A Child Needs an Ecosystem

孩子需要一个生态系统

 

You cannot correct this just by working with the children. A child needs an ecosystem. This is where we have missed out in the things we are doing in the world today. Recently, someone sent me a gift – a spray which is supposed to be a good bacteria spray. I am supposed to spray it on myself. They told me that if you spray the bacteria, your skin will be healthy, if you spray it on your head, your hair will be healthy! Why do I need bacteria? I did not grow up in a laboratory. I grew up on this planet which is full of bacteria. What I am saying is, your life does not happen in exclusivity. This life happens in inclusivity. The ecological disaster that is happening on the planet is happening because we thought we could eliminate everything and we would live well. It does not work like that. It needs an ecosystem.

你不能仅仅通过与孩子们合作来纠正这个问题。孩子需要一个生态系统。这是我们在当今世界所做的事情中遗漏的地方。最近,有人送给我一份礼物——一种被认为是很好的细菌喷雾。他们希望我把它喷在自己身上。他们告诉我,如果你喷这种喷雾,你的皮肤会很健康,如果你把它喷在头上,你的头发会很健康!为什么我需要细菌喷雾?我又不是在实验室里长大的。我是在这个充满细菌的星球上长大的。我想说的是,你的生命并不是在排他中发生的。这个生命是在包容中发生的。生态灾难正发生在地球上,这是因为我们认为我们可以排除一切,并能生活得很好。事情并不是这样运作的。我们需要一个生态系统。

 

A child needs an ecosystem. What kind of things are they exposed to, what are they doing with their lives, where are we trying to drive them?

孩子需要一个生态系统。他们面对着什么样的事物,他们的生活是怎样的,我们正试图将他们带往什么方向?

 

The same goes for your child. A child needs an ecosystem. What kind of things are they exposed to, what are they doing with their lives, where are we trying to drive them? We must understand that a child, particularly a youth, means humanity in the making. Even with a car, you expect the next model to be better than the current model. If the car company keeps manufacturing the same model, will you buy it every year? Similarly, the next generation should not think, feel and act the same as you do. That should not be the expectation. At the same time, whether they are working towards their wellbeing or not is definitely a concern for the parent.

你的孩子也一样。孩子需要一个生态系统。他们面对着什么样的事物,他们的生活是怎样的,我们正试图将他们带往什么方向?我们必须明白,一个孩子,尤其是一个青年,意味着一个正在被创造中的人类。即便对于一辆车,你也期望下一款比现在这一款更好。如果汽车公司继续制造同一款车型,你会每年都买吗?同样,下一代不应该像你一样思考、感受和行动。不应该期望那样。与此同时,他们是否在为自己的幸福而努力,这绝对是父母所关心的。

 

A child’s wellbeing cannot happen just by fixing that one child. We need an ecosystem because a child is not independent of the atmosphere in which he or she grows up. A child is a product of that atmosphere. We have to cultivate the atmosphere. If we want flowers, we have to maintain the atmosphere. We cannot pull flowers out of the plant. It does not work like that. We will end up with plastic flowers if we try that.

孩子的幸福不可能只通过修理这个孩子来实现。我们需要一个生态系统,因为孩子并不是独立于他或她所成长的环境的。孩子是环境的产物。我们得培育环境。如果我们想要花,我们必须维持那个环境。我们不能把花从植物中拔出来。事情不是这样运作的。如果我们这样做,我们最终只会得到塑料花。

 

Don’t Expect Roses

不要期待玫瑰花

 

Most parents do not cultivate the genius of their children. They are trying to drive their children in a particular direction. Do not drive. You cannot get rose flowers from a plant that is not a rose plant. It will come out with a different kind of flower. You should not expect rose flowers out of everything just because you like rose flowers. You have a new and fresh life in your home. We do not know what will come out of it.

大多数父母并没有培养孩子的天赋。他们在试图把他们的孩子驱赶到一个特定的方向上。不要驱使他们。你不能从不是玫瑰的植物那里得到玫瑰花。它会绽放不同的花朵。你不应该只因为你喜欢玫瑰花而期待所有植物都开玫瑰花。在你家里,你有一个新的、鲜活的生命。我们不知道这个生命会绽放出什么。

  

When the child was inside, you did nothing, right? Just nourished yourself well and waited. Just like that – provide the atmosphere and wait.

当孩子在子宫里的时候,你什么也没做,对吧?只是好好地滋养你自己,并且等待。就像那样——提供氛围并等待。

 

When I was a youth, if someone told me to do this or that, I would not do it unless it made sense to me. The only thing in my life that paid off for me was that I never got influenced by anybody, either the family, the society, the religious atmosphere or the political atmosphere. I just kept myself the way the creator made me. I kept myself a little aloof from everything, and I saw slowly, there is a certain intelligence just to be alive.

当我还是青年时,如果有人告诉我要这样或那种做,我就不会那么做,除非这对我来说是有意义的。在我的生活中,唯一给我带来回报的,是我从未受到任何人的影响,无论是家庭、社会、宗教氛围还是政治氛围。我只是保持着造物主创造我的方式。我将自己与每件事都保持着一点距离,然后我慢慢看到,有一种智慧是纯然地活着。

 

This is why I tell people that to bear and raise a child, you must have either enormous courage or enormous wisdom. Because a new life is not a small thing. If you see it as a phenomenon which blossomed in your body, came out and is growing – out of two cells, life is happening in front of you, taking shape – if you watch it with utter wonder and create the right kind of atmosphere, your child will grow into something beautiful. But they may not be the rose flower that you expected. They need not become what you expect because your expectations are coming from the graveyard of the past. Children belong to the future.

这就是为什么我告诉人们,要养育一个孩子,你要么要有巨大的勇气,要么要有巨大的智慧。因为一个新生命不是一件小事。如果你把它看成是一个绽放于你的体内、出现,然后一直成长的现象——始于两个细胞,生命在你面前发生、成型——如果你带着全然的好奇观察它并创造合适的氛围,你的孩子会成长为美丽的事物。但他们可能不是你所期望的玫瑰花。他们不需要成为你所期望的样子,因为你的期望来自于过去的墓地。而孩子属于未来。

 

Children do not belong to you, and they do not come from you. They only come through you. It is a privilege that we must appreciate and enjoy, rather than thinking it is our right or trying to determine where they should go and what they should do. As long as they are working towards their wellbeing and they are not doing something negative against their own life, you must wait. For the entire time until the child becomes twenty-one, you must feel like you are still pregnant. Just wait. When the child was inside, you did nothing, right? Just nourished yourself well and waited. Just like that – provide the atmosphere and wait.

孩子不属于你,也并不来自于你。他们只是通过你来到世上。这是一个我们必须感激和享受的特权,而不是认为这是我们可以试图决定他们应该去哪里以及他们应该做什么的特权。只要他们在为自己的幸福而努力,而且不是在做不利于自己生命的消极的事情,你就必须等待。在孩子21岁以前,你都必须要感觉自己仍在怀孕。只是等待。当孩子在子宫里面的时候,你什么也没做,对吧?只是好好地滋养你自己,并且等待。就像那样——提供氛围以及等待。

 

Love&Grace,

Sadhguru

爱与恩典

萨古鲁

文章来源:http://isha.sadhguru.org/blog/lifestyle/relationships/creating-right-atmosphere-children-flower/
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