什么是抚育孩子的最佳方式?
发布日期:2018-07-17 10:17
QQ20180717-101020

Sadhguru speaks to the director of the film, “For Real”. He talks about the best form of parenting there is, which is to straighten up – not our children, but ourselves. Since parenting is a 20-year project, he talks about the importance of staying committed to the role, and nurturing the relationship through simple friendship.

萨古鲁对话“For Real”这部电影(印度的一部儿童题材电影)的导演。他谈到了抚育孩子的最佳方式——完善自己,而不是改变孩子。抚育孩子是一项20年的工程,坚守为人父母的职责,通过与孩子建立纯真的友谊来培养彼此关系是尤其重要的。

Sadhguru: When a child is born, the first and foremost thing one should understand is that you did not create life. You only worked as a passage to deliver life. So you must understand that this has only come to you, this doesn’t really come from you or belong to you. It is just that you have the privilege of nurturing it for a certain period of time. You need to build a certain friendship with this little life that’s entered your space now.

萨古鲁:当一个孩子降生时,首先需要明白的是,并不是你创造了生命。你只是充当了新生命得以诞生的载体。因此你必须明白,这个新生命只是来到了你的生活中,它并非来源于你,也不属于你。你只不过是拥有了养育它一段时间的特权。你需要跟这个进入你世界的小生命建立某种友谊。

 

A child is everything that you are on a small scale. So if a child has arrived and is of a certain significance to you, the first and foremost thing that you need to do is, start cleaning yourself up. The best parenting you can do is to fix yourself. You might have lived in all kinds of distorted ways, but now a child has come. This is the time to straighten up your life. Don’t worry about straightening up the child’s life because he is learning quickly by imitation. He is picking up whatever he is exposed to. In many ways, you are the biggest source of imitation for him. The best thing is that you are straight; you are the way your ideal is. Whatever you think is the highest way to be, you be that way when the child is around, because he is learning by imitation. He may be exposed to many other sources of imitation which you cannot control. At least you can do your part. So the best thing you can do is to come down from your high horse of “parenting” somebody. Just learn to be a simple friend to your child, so that when he is in some kind of confusion or some kind of trouble, you are the first person he wants to talk to.

孩子是你的一切的缩影。因此,如果一个孩子到来了、并且它对你重要的话,你首先要做的第一件事就是清理自己。抚育孩子的最佳方式是完善你自己。或许你以前曾过着各种扭曲的生活方式,但现在孩子来了,是时候该矫正你自己的生活了。无需在矫正孩子的生活上费神,因为他正在迅速地通过模仿进行学习。无论接触到什么,他在无意中就会吸收学习到。在许多方面,你都是他最常模仿的对象。最好的情况是你自己活得正直,你做到自己理想的样子。无论你认为最高尚的状态是怎样的,当孩子在身边的时候,你就要处于那种状态,因为他正在通过模仿学习。他也有可能接触并模仿很多其他对象,这一点你无法控制,但至少你可以尽好自己的那份职责。所以,你能做的最好的事就是放下为人父母的架子,学着单纯跟孩子做朋友,那么当他遇到困惑或者麻烦时,你是他第一个想倾诉的人。

 

It’s very important that parents look at this – whatever their aspirations, whatever their goals, if you want to bring up a child, it is a 20-year project. So when you start, you must have at least a 20-year commitment. Our ideas, our thoughts, our emotions may change as we move on and many discords may happen, disagreements may happen, struggles may happen. When two human beings are in a certain level of proximity, certain level of sharing, many things may happen. But, because we have a 20-year project, we must be committed at least for 20 years. This much maturity and commitment one must have before they decide to bear a child. Otherwise, it is not needed for you. You are still a child; you can fight and go away. You can disagree with somebody and leave the house today, if you are in that condition, you are still a child and you don’t need a child. Asking a child to bear another child is not fair. So you don’t have to bear a child. And you will be doing a great service to the world, because right now our only problem is excessive human population.

重要的是父母需有这样的认识 -- 无论你的志向和目标是什么,如果你想养育一个孩子,这便是一项20年的工程。所以当你一旦开始,你必须有至少20年的承诺与决心。当我们在生活中前行时,我们的观念、想法和情绪都可能改变,许多的不和、分歧与争斗均可能发生。当两个人的亲近达到一定程度时,许多事情都有可能发生。但因为我们有一项20年的工程,我们必须尽心尽责至少20年。一个人在决定要孩子之前,起码得有这一份成熟度与责任心。否则,你根本不必要孩子,因为你自己都还只是一个孩子;你可以和别人吵架后扬长而去,你可以与某人意见不合便立刻离家出走。如果你处于这种状态,那么你还仅仅是个孩子,你并不需要孩子。让一个孩子去生养另一个孩子是不公平的,所以你不必这么做。况且,你这也是在对世界做贡献,因为我们现在的问题就是人口过多。

 

Love&Grace,

Sadhguru

爱与恩典

萨古鲁

 
文章来源:
分享到:

登录后即可发表评论,立即登录.