什么是真正的家?
发布日期:2018-05-10 10:03
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On this Spot, Sadhguru shares memories of home and his views on the defining elements that turn a housing space into a home. He emphasizes the vital impact that one’s home has on one’s life by going so far as to say, “It is the incubator we call home which cultivates us to become human.” Read on to find out more.

在此,萨古鲁分享了关于家的记忆,以及他对于把一个房屋变成一个家所必备的元素的观点。他强调一个人的家对其生命所产生的影响是如此深远:“那个我们称之为“家”的,它是一个孵化器,是它把我们培养成人。”

 

When we utter the word “home,” it conjures memories of comfort, companionship, and love. For most of people, though they have lived in different homes in the course of their lives, the most important one seems to be the home they grew up in. This is probably so because from childhood to adolescence and adulthood, our perceptions and perspectives of life are changing far more dramatically than in any other phase of life. It is a time when we explore different ways to experience our surroundings. Therefore, the ambiance of the home that supports and nurtures us in this period of our life naturally sticks in our minds in a much more profound way than many other things that we may see and experience later on.

当我们说“家”这个词的时候,它勾起舒适、陪伴和爱的记忆。对于大部分人来说,即便在他们的人生中住过不同的家,最重要的往往是那个伴随他们长大的家。很可能是因为从童年到青春期再到成年这个期间,是我们对生命的视角和理解变化最快的时期。在这个阶段里,我们探索各种不同的方式来体验我们周围的环境。因此,支持、养育我们的“家”的氛围自然而然地扎根在我们的头脑里,远比我们成人以后看到和经历的很多其他事情更加深刻。

 

You need to learn to include and accept if not the entire world, at least those few people who are your world.

你需要学习包容和接受,即便不是全世界,至少是你世界里的那几个人。

 

I still vividly remember the different homes I have been in from an early age. My grandfather’s home was a kind of zamindari[1] residence with a history of a few generations behind it. It was spacious and exuded power. Almost everything that happened in that region happened from this home. My father’s home, by contrast, was one of quietness, comfort, companionship, and love, but no great happenings. Then I crisscrossed India on my motorcycle. Almost all the time, except for a few days when I camped somewhere, I just knocked on someone’s door and said, “I’m hungry.” They fed me, and either I left, or they asked me to shower and rest there. Generally, they did not even want to know my name, nor did I inquire about who they were. Still, there was a fantastic rapport. We spent a few hours together, I slept there, and the next morning, I was gone. In different ways, these experiences cultured my own understanding of a home.

我仍然清晰地记得我早年待过的不同的家。我爷爷的家是一种有几代历史的“柴明达尔”式的居住方式,它空间宽敞、散发着力量。几乎那个地区发生的一切都是从这个家开始发生的。我爸爸的家,相反,是一个安静、舒适,充满了陪伴和爱的家,但是没有什么大事发生。后来我骑摩托车穿行了整个印度。除了少数时候是在外面野营,否则几乎一直以来,我只要敲开某人家的门说:“我很饿”,他们就会给我吃的,然后要么我离开,要么他们会让我在那里洗澡和休息。一般来说,他们甚至不想知道我的名字,我也不会问他们是谁。可仍然有一种绝妙的和谐,我们在一起呆几个小时,我睡在那里,第二天早上,我就走了。以不同的方式,这些经历培养了我自己对于家的理解。

 

Building a home is a fundamental human need. Unlike other creatures, who are largely equipped to live their lives from the moment they are born, we need a lot of culturing to become full-fledged human beings. It is the incubator we call home which cultivates us to become human. The most important aspect of this incubation is inclusiveness. A home is a place that nurtures the few people who live and grow up in it. At the same time, it becomes a home because its doors are open to many others – family, friends, business partners, and whoever else the residents may have some kind of relationship with. Of course, some come to stay – particularly sons-in-law and daughters-in-law. Sometimes, wanderers like me slip in and out. I am a homeless person, in many ways. Most of the time, I live in other people’s homes, not in the home I built. When life incapacitates me a little more, maybe I will stay home.

建立一个家庭是人类的基本需要。其他生物在出生的那一刻起已经具备了谋生所需的,我们需要大量的培养才能成为圆满的人类。是我们称之为家的孵化器把我们抚养成人。这个孵化里最重要的层面是包容性。家是一个养育在其中生活和成长的人的地方。同时,它之所以成为家是因为它的门对其他人开放——家庭、朋友、生意伙伴和那些和你有某种关系的居住者。当然,有些会留下来——尤其是女婿和儿媳。有时,是像我这样的流浪者来来去去。从很多方面看,我是一个无家可归的人。大多数时候,我住在别人的房子里,不是我自己建造的家。如果有一天我失去能力时,也许我会呆在家里。

 

I have been in homes with over four hundred family members. They may not have known everyone else’s names, but they sort of knew who they were. Generations of people used to live under one roof. People were born, grew up, got married, reproduced, and died in the same house. But not anymore – every generation moves into a new home. For various reasons, people frequently relocate today, which was not the case a few generations ago when societies were predominantly agricultural and mobility was limited. Our lifestyles, our work situations, and the world as a whole are quite different today. The physical structures and the aesthetics may have changed, but the fundamental value of what makes a home remains the same. A home should nurture a deeper dimension of inclusiveness. You need to learn to include and accept if not the entire world, at least those few people who are your world.

我曾经住在超过四百个家庭成员的家里。他们可能不知道其他每个人的名字,但他们大概知道他们是谁。一代又一代的人同住一个屋檐下。人们在同一个房子里出生、长大、结婚、生子、过世。但时过境迁——现在每一代人都搬进自己的新家。由于种种原因,如今人们经常搬迁,而几代以前并非如此,那时候社会以农业为主,流动性很有限。我们的生活方式,我们的工作,整个世界都有了很大的不同。虽然建筑的结构和美学可能已经改变了,但是构成一个家庭的基本价值是相同的。一个家应该培养一个更深层次维度的包容性。你需要学习包容和接受,即便不是全世界,至少是你世界里的那几人。

 

Ultimately, a home is a space that is supposed to turn you inward and allow you to experience that there is only one home, which is within.

最终,家是一个空间,它应该把你转向内在,允许你去体验到其实只有一个家,而它是在你之内。

 

The people who live with us are not perfectly the way we want them, and they never will be. If you come to terms with that, you will be able to know life beyond what you think about it. A home should culture you for life, so that when you step out in the world, you are far more inclusive. Living together gives you the opportunity to learn to accept many things. But as the level of education increases, you lose the ability to let someone overstep your boundaries. If someone as much as touches you, either they are finished or you are finished. This is the kind of culture we are headed towards. We are fortunate that in this generation, we still have a certain dimension of inclusiveness. It was inculcated in us in our homes, where the lives of our siblings, friends, and family overlapped ours in many ways, and that was perfectly fine.

和我们一起住的人不是我们希望的那么完美,他们永远都不会是。如果你接受这一点,你将有能力体验超出你想象的生活。家就应该为你的生命而培育你,所以当你踏入外面的世界,你会变得包容得多。与他人共住给予了学会去接受的机会。但随着教育程度的增加,你失去了允许别人穿过你边界的能力。即使有人只是碰了你,要么他们完了,要么你完了。我们的文化正往这个方向发展。我们是幸运的,在这一代,我们仍然拥有一定的包容性。我们在家里一直被灌输着这样的理念。我们的兄弟姐妹、朋友和家人的生活与我们在很多方面都相互交叠,这是非常好的。

 

Though most homes in the world are built for comfort, companionship, love, and togetherness, in India, we had a special element to them. There was a time when every single home was consecrated. It was considered truly negative and uncaring to have people live in a space that did not offer the necessary atmosphere for wellbeing, growth, and inner blossoming. Therefore, every home had a consecrated space. Today, remnants of that are still there, though much has changed in the last few generations. My great-grandmother’s pooja room, for example, was the largest room in the house. There, she sang, danced, cried, laughed, and did all kinds of things. My grandmother shrank the pooja room to half the size. When my mother set up home elsewhere, the pooja room became a little smaller than a toilet. And when my daughter set up her home, the pooja room became just a rack on the wall.

虽然世界上大多数家庭是为了寻求慰藉、陪伴、爱和归属感而建立的,在印度,我们有一个特殊的元素。曾经有一段时间,每一个家庭都有一个被圣化的空间。让人们生活在一个没有提供有利于健康、成长和内心绽放的空间被认为是消极和冷漠的。因此,每个家庭有一个圣化的空间。今天,那个文化的残留依然存在,尽管在过去的几代里有了很大的变化。例如,我的曾祖母做礼拜的房间是房子里最大的房间。在那里,她唱歌、跳舞、哭、大笑、做各种各样的事情。我的祖母把这个做礼拜的房间改到一半大小。而当我母亲在其他地方建立家园,做礼拜的房间变得比一个厕所还小。当我的女儿建立她的家时,做礼拜的地方仅有挂在墙上的一个架子。

 

Before my eyes, the significance of the Divine shrank in these four or five generations – from the largest room in the house to a rack on the wall. I am sure in the next generation, the rack will also disappear. This has happened because from being able to transform the energy of a space in a powerful way through the science of consecration and consequently transform lives, overtime, we came down to very basic forms, the meaning of which we were not able to explain to the next generation. What did not make sense to them, they naturally began to reject. A few hundred years ago, either your priest, your pundit, your guru, or your scriptures thought for you. Today, a whole lot of people are thinking for themselves. Whether they are thinking straight or not is another question, but at least they are thinking for themselves.

就在我眼前,神性的重要性在这四五代人里萎缩了——从屋子里最大的房间到墙上的架子。到了下一代,连架子都将消失。这是因为曾经,通过圣化的科学,我们能以强有力的方式转化一个空间进而转化生命,但慢慢地,我们把它降低为非常基本的形式,其意义我们无法把它传达给下一代。对他们来说讲不通的东西,他们自然会开始拒绝。几百年前,是你的祭司、你的权威、你的古鲁,或是你的经文为你思考;而今天,很多人为自己思考。他们是否真诚地思考是另一个问题,但至少他们是在为自己思考。

 

It is not the opulence of the structure but the inclusiveness of the people which makes a home.

家不是关于富丽堂皇的建筑,而是人们的包容使其成为一个家。

 

Once you start thinking for yourself, you cannot swallow anything that is not logically correct, no matter what kind of authority says it. We are transforming the world from authorities being the truth to truth being the authority. This is a good transition, but the in-between space can be a barren place. This reflects in our homes, where many things that used to represent our heritage, history, and culture, many knick-knacks which tell stories that not everyone is able to interpret correctly, are getting dumped by the next generation because they do not make sense to them. This is the nature of the intellect – it dissects everything. If I want to know you, dissection is definitely not the best way, but that is what the intellect continuously does. A lot of things may not make any logical sense, but they may make a lot of life sense. People, things, and structures that are part of your home need not make logical sense – still they mean the world to you.

一旦你开始为自己思考,你将无法接受任何非逻辑的话,无论那是出自什么权威。我们正在把世界从权威就是真理,变为真理就是权威。这是一个很好的转变,但中间的转折期可能是荒芜之地。这在我们的家庭中有所体现,家里那些体现我们的传统、历史和文化的许多东西,以及许多叙述着并不是每个人都能够正确解读的故事的摆设和装饰,正在被下一代抛弃,因为他们不理解这些东西的意义。这是智力和逻辑的本质——它剖析一切事物。如果我想了解你,剖析绝对不是最好的方法,但这是人们一直运用智力在做的。很多事情可能不会有任何逻辑意义,但是他们可能有很多生命意义。家里的那些人、东西和建筑并不需要逻辑上说得通——但他们对你来说仍意味着全世界。

 

Homes have to become incubation spaces which nurture the realization that ultimately, the only home a human being can really know is within. If you do not realize in this lifetime that the ultimate home is within, then the only home you will know will be the grave. That something does not make logical sense to you does not mean it should not exist. This is an understanding that a home is constantly culturing us towards. What one person likes, another person dislikes, and vice versa. Still, because you live in the same home, you come to terms with that. You do not have to try to like it. Learning to live with things you do not like is a huge lesson in life. A home brings us to a place. If you want everyone and everything one hundred percent the way you think they should be, no one will want to be around you.

家必须成为培育认知的孵化空间,它应该让你意识到,最终,一个人能真正了解的唯一的家就在其之内。如果这一生你都没能意识到最终极的家就在你之内,那么最终你唯一知道的家将会是坟墓。那些对你来说逻辑上讲不通的东西并不意味着它不应该存在。家始终就是在培育这个认知。一个人喜欢的东西,另一个人不喜欢,反之亦然。但是,因为你们住在同一个家里,你们接受了现实。你不必尝试去喜欢它。学会接受你不喜欢的东西是人生中巨大的功课。家可以把我们带到这个境地。如果你想要所有人、所有事百分之百按照你认为应该的方式发生,没有人会想要在你身边。

 

In my efforts to consecrate as many homes as possible, we create the necessary energy that enables you to realize it is not the walls, not the décor, not the smells, sounds, and taste that define a particular home. Ultimately, a home is a space that is supposed to turn you inward and allow you to experience that there is only one home, which is within. That home is neither yours nor mine. If you turn inward, you become super inclusive. It is only in being identified with our body and mind that we have clear-cut boundaries of “you” and “I.” If you turn inward, there will be a profound sense of inclusiveness in you. A home should culture that inclusiveness. It is not the opulence of the structure but the inclusiveness of the people which makes a home.

我致力于圣化尽可能多的家,是为了创建必要的能量以便使你们意识到,不是墙壁、装饰、气味、声音或味道使其成为一个家。最终,家是一个空间,它应该把你转向内在,允许你去体验其实只有一个家,它就在你之内。那个家既不是你的也不是我的。如果你转向内在,你将变得非常具有包容性。只有在我们将自己认同为身体和头脑时,我们才会有明确的“你”和“我”的界限。如果你转向内在,在你之内将会有一种深刻的包容意识。一个家应该培养这种包容性。家不是关于富丽堂皇的建筑,而是人们的包容使其成为一个家。

 

Love&Grace,

Sadhguru

爱与恩典

萨古鲁

文章来源:isha.sadhguru.org/blog/sadhguru/spot/what-makes-a-home
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