Q: I have a tendency to sabotage myself when things are going really well. Can Shambhavi Mahamudra help me break this pattern?
Sadhguru: So you like to play solitaire and you want to be your own opponent. There is sufficient life happening around to play with, you do not have to play with yourself. When you are by yourself, it is time to tend to yourself, to grow and evolve – not to create competition inside. If you play a double game inside of you and it manifests itself well, you will become schizophrenic. The sadhana that has been given to you has been given only after some fundamental preparation that makes you see that you are an individual.
An individual means, it is not further divisible. This is just one, you cannot make two out of it; but people are always busy trying to make two out of it. You said, “I sabotage myself.” But usually, people will say, “I’m doing great, but my ego comes in.” Where is the ego? Their ego, their soul, their consciousness and super-consciousness comes in – they have become many characters in one, which is not safe. There is only one here – just you.
The first and foremost thing is to establish that there is no other factor, “Everything that is being generated as an experience within me is my doing.” We have sufficiently established this in the programs that you have gone through.
In India, it was common in previous generations to hear people say, “It is my karma,” which means, “It is my doing. My life is my making; it is not somebody else’s making. It is not something else influencing me; it is me.” This is very important. If you do not establish this one factor, you will keep playing these games for the rest of your life.
The sadhana that has been given to you is designed to establish the individual, to strengthen and stabilize the individual, so that there are no two inside; there is only one. Once this happens, these games will recede. Initially, you have to start with a commitment. No matter what, the next one year, you are going to do the practice. Whether it gives you any benefit or not – just do it. Do not look every day at “What’s happening? Did this happen, did that happen?”’ – No, just do it. I am not advertising for any product. Just do it, okay?