Sadhguru: If you are confused before, after, and during the practice, it means you are confused all the time - this has nothing to do with the practice.
Shambhavi Mahamudra is not an initiation - we just use that word because it is common usage. We can initiate you into Shoonya meditation — we cannot initiate you into Shambhavi. Shambhavi is more like consecrating your system - the practice is only a cleanup. Shoonya meditation, Shakti Chalana Kriya, Samyama - these are initiations. Shambhavi is a consecration. The job has already been done - all you have to do is try to make it available for yourself. It is like the temple has been built - you just have to go and sit there. Whatever had to be done has already been done - you just have to benefit from it, on a daily basis.
You are saying that your mind is working. You don't want it to work? Somehow, this idea has spread big-time in the world that if you meditate, your mind should not work. When you are doing Shambhavi Mahamudra, you want your heart to beat, you want your blood to move - but you want your brain to stop. Why are you so prejudiced against the brain? The liver functions, the kidneys function, even your spleen is working, everything is working when you are meditating - let your brain also work. What is your problem as long as you are not involved in it?
Do not try to meditate - just follow the instructions. You will see whatever is happening bothers you no more if you just take these steps. You are struggling now because you have this idea that if you sit with your eyes closed, your mind should stop. Please drop this idea about meditating. You must understand this - I invested my life on you, so you have to pay me 21 minutes of your life every day. This is Sadhguru's time - sit, no matter what happens. Do not worry about meditation, do not worry about benefits - you are just paying back. If you are paying back your debt to somebody, do you bother if the currency is soiled? Let him take it and go, what is your problem? Let him clean it up if he wants. Leave it to me. You just sit there, follow the instructions that's all. What has to happen will happen. The issue is simply that you have wrong inputs about what meditation is.