如何面对他人的期待——超越你的极限
发布日期:2018-03-07 16:43
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If people’s expectations of you have been bothering you, perhaps it’s time to look at things from a different perspective. Expectations, Sadhguru tells us, could be an opportunity to go beyond our limitations and do something with life.

如果人们对你的期望已成为一种困扰,或许你该换个角度考虑问题了。萨古鲁告诉我们,期待或许就是你超越极限、对生命做点什么的机会。

 

Sadhguru: Different people have different expectations of you, and these expectations are treading on each other. Your wife wants you home by 5:30 but your boss wants you in the office till 7:30 in the evening. You have only twenty-four hours but if you have to fulfill your parents’ expectations, your children’s expectations, your boss’s expectations, and above all your spouse’s expectations, you actually need sixty hours a day. “Where do I get those extra hours?” That’s the question.

萨古鲁:不同的人对你有不同的期待,这些期待相互排挤。你的妻子想要你5:30回家,但你的老板想让你办公到晚上7:30。你一天只有24个小时,但是如果你要满足父母的期望、孩子的期望、老板的期望,更重要的是还有配偶的期望,那么你实际需要60个小时。“我从哪里获得额外的时间?”这是个问题。

 

Right now, people have expectations way beyond your capabilities. Don’t curse that. It is a great boon that people are expecting big things from you. If people looked at you and thought “Oh, we can’t expect anything from him,” and they had no expectations from you, do you think that would be good for you? If your boss has no expectation from you, you will get fired. They are all expecting many things from you. This is an opportunity for you to go beyond your limitations and do something with life. Does it mean to say you will do something perfect to fulfill everyone’s expectations? It will never happen. But if all of them are constantly expecting more than what you can deliver, that means your life is going well. Enjoy your wellbeing, don’t complain about it. Do the best you can do and that is all there is.

现在,人们对你的期待远远超过你的能力。不要咒骂。对你期待很高实际是种恩赐。如果人们看到你后这样想,“噢,我们不能对他有任何期待,”然后真的对你没有任何指望了,你觉得这对你真的好吗?如果你的老板对你没有期望,你会被炒鱿鱼。大家都对你寄予厚望。这正是你超越极限、对生命做点什么的机会。这是不是就意味着你要做得很完美以达到每个人的期望?这绝对不会发生。但是如果大家对你的期望一直比你能呈现的要多,这意味着你的生命运转地很好。享受这种福气吧,不要抱怨。尽自己最大的努力把事情做好,这就是你要做的。

Life does not become beautiful because you are perfect, life becomes beautiful because you put your heart into everything that you do.

生命之所以完美不是因为你是完美的,而是因为你用心去做每一件事。

 

This is not about being perfect in your activity. There is no such thing as perfection in life. There is only one thing that happens perfectly, and that is death. If you seek perfection, unconsciously you will seek death. Don’t seek perfection in life. Life does not become beautiful because you are perfect, life becomes beautiful because you put your heart into everything that you do. Life is never going to be perfect because whichever way you are functioning right now, you could always be a little more, isn’t it? So there is no question of perfection. Only when there are big expectations, you will stretch yourself beyond your limitations. If you can stretch, that means you have still not reached your limitation. If there are no expectations, you will never find your full potential.

这不是关于你的所作所为要十全十美。生命中没有十全十美这一说。唯有一件事是完美的,那就是死亡。如果你追求完美,你是在无意识追求死亡。不要在生命中追求完美。生命之所以完美不是因为你是完美的,而是因为你用心去做每一件事。生命从不会是完美的,因为不论你现在运作的方式是怎样的,你总能达到更好,不是吗?所以并不存在完美。只有当人们对你寄予厚望时,你才会冲破自己的极限扩展自己。如果你能扩展,这就意味着你还没有达到极限。如果没有期望,你绝对发现不了自己全部的潜力。

 

It takes a completely different kind of consciousness and awareness to stretch yourself to your ultimate limit without anyone’s expectations. That takes something else within you. Right now you are not like that. You are only driven by people’s expectations. So let them expect bigger and bigger things from you. You manage the situations to the extent you can manage them. Some things will always be out of control, and the more things you get into, the more things will be going wrong in your life. But many more things will be going right also. The quality of your life, or the success of your life need not be measured in terms of fulfilling something. It needs to be measured in terms of whether you are giving yourself totally or not. What has to happen will happen according to your capability, the situations, and how everything falls together – many things are included in this. But are you giving yourself hundred percent to whatever you care for in your life? That’s the question.

要在没有他人的期望的情况下扩展到极点,需要一种截然不同的意识和觉知。这需要你内在的某种东西。现在你还不能达到这种程度。你只是受人们的期望驱使。所以,尽管让他们对你寄予厚望吧。尽自己最大能力处理你的处境。生命中很多事情总是失控,而且你管得越多,出的错误越多。但同时也有很多事会趋于好转。生命的质量或者成功不需要通过完成某些事来衡量。而需通过你是否能够完全奉献自己来衡量。要发生的事总会根据你的能力、处境和机缘巧合而发生——很多事情都这样。但是你将自己全身心奉献给生命中所在意的事物了吗?这才是关键。

 

You go to work, you have to manage your family – this is survival, no big deal. You have not taken up something of tremendous significance. It does not take anything great to do it. But a lot of people have made it as if it is their lifelong effort. Their whole life’s purpose is to earn a living and somehow survive. It need not be that way. A human being is far more capable than that. If this capability has to find expression, you need a certain amount of clearing of your mind. There are simple tools and practices to work with. If you work with this for a certain period of time, you will see there is much more clearing in your head and you can see these things with clarity, because this is not beyond your capability. This is something that you can and owe to yourself to do.

你要工作,你要持家——这是生存,没什么大不了。你并没有在做意义最大的事。这并不需要很费劲去做。但是很多人把它变得就像是他们终身奋斗的目标一样。他们生命的意义单纯就是挣钱谋生。无需如此。人能做到的远非这些。要使这种能力得以施展,你需要一定程度上清理你的头脑。有很多简单易行的方法和途径可以做到。如果你坚持练习(瑜伽)一段时间,你会发现你的头脑变得更加清晰,你可以清楚地看清事物,因为这并不在你的能力之外。这是你本来就能做到并且应该去做的事。

 

Love&Grace,

Sadhguru

爱与恩典

萨古鲁

文章来源:isha.sadhguru.org/blog/lifestyle/relationships/handling-expectations
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