当别人让你失望时,该怎么办?
发布日期:2018-07-09 11:52
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Feeling let down bya dear one? First examine your own assumptions and expectations, says Sadhguru.Once you see that your relationships are adding value to your life, you willmanage them well.

爱人让你感到失望了?萨古鲁说,首先审视你自己的假设和期望。一旦你看到你的关系为你的生命带来了价值,你就能很好地经营它们了。

 

Question: How do wedeal with it when a person who we thought would never let us down does let usdown?

问:当一个我们原以为永远不会让我们失望的人让我们失望了,我们该怎么办?

 

Sadhguru: Theproblem is wrong assumptions. You are making assumptions about others, aboutyourself, and about creation. You got a little too romantic and thought therelationship happens by itself. Relationships need to be managed. The questionis, are you a good manager or not? Still, however good a manager you are,things can happen. About someone letting you down…You may have unrealistic expectationsabout people. I know the question is coming from a certain experience, and I amnot trying to belittle the pain. I know what it means to you as an individual.But at the same time, you need to understand that you came alone into thisworld, and you will go alone. You entered the relationship because you neededit.

萨古鲁:问题在于错误的假设。你对其他人、对你自己和整个造物都做了假设。你有点过于浪漫,认为关系会自行发生。关系是需要经营的。问题是,你是不是一个好的经营者?而且,不管你是多好的经营者,都可能会发生一些事情。某人让你失望了......你可能对人们抱有不切实际的期望。我知道你的这个问题来自于某种经历和感受,我并不是想贬低这种痛苦。我了解作为个体的人,这种痛苦对你意味着什么。但与此同时,你需要了解的是,你独自来到这个世界,也会独自离开。你与人形成了关系是因为你需要它。

 

No matter how muchdrama you create around it and what assumptions you make about therelationship, it is about trying to fulfill your needs. Whatever relationshipsyou have formed in your life, you have done so to fulfill your needs, be theyphysical, psychological, emotional, financial, social, or whatever else. If youkeep that in mind, you will approach your relationships with a certainhumility. If you get carried away by your own thoughts and emotions, you forgetabout the fundamentals ofthe relationship, and you forget to manage it well. That is whenthings can go wrong.

不管你围绕关系制造了多少剧情,以及你对关系做了何种假设,这一切都是为了满足你的需要。无论你在生命中形成了什么样的关系,你这么做都是为了满足你的需要,生理、心理、情感、经济、社交等等的需要。如果你能记住这一点,你就会带着某种谦卑感来对待你的关系。如果你被自己的头脑和情绪带离,你就会忘记关系的根本,忘记要经营好关系,这时就可能会出现问题。

 

Becoming Sweet byYour Own Nature 

自发的甜蜜

 

If you aredisillusioned with something or someone, it means you come to reality. This maysound cruel, but this is how life is. All people that we hold dear will go, orwe will go. Even if you hold hands and die together, you will still goseparately. These are your emotions. When you form a relationship with someone,it is an agreement between the two of you to help each other experience somesweetness of emotion.

如果你对某事或某人幻灭了,这就意味着你回到现实了。这可能听上去有点残忍,但生命原本就是如此。所有我们珍爱的人都将离开,或者我们会离开。即使你们手牵手一起死,你们也是分别离开。这些都是你的情感。当你与某人建立了关系,这就意味着你们同意帮助彼此体验情感的甜蜜。

 

As you mature, youneed to learn to keep your thoughts and emotions sweet by your own nature. Ifyour thoughts and emotions are pleasant, you can share them with other people.But if, without the other person, your thoughtsand emotions get bitter and unpleasant, if someone has to offerlife support every day, they will get tired. If others constantly have to keepyou happy and loving, it is a burden on them, and they may run away at somepoint. When they escape, you think it is betrayal. Again, these are all youremotions. In the larger context of existence, you are just a piece of life.

随着你成熟起来,你需要学会自发地保持头脑和情感的甜蜜。如果你的头脑和情感是愉悦的,你就能与他人分享。但是,如果没有别人,你的头脑和情绪就会变得苦涩和不快——如果别人每天都得为你提供生命支持,他们就会变得疲惫。如果其他人总是得去想办法让你变得快乐有爱,那么这对他们来说就是一种负担,他们可能会在某个点逃离。当他们逃离时,你认为这是一种背叛。再说一遍,这些全都是你的情绪。从存在的角度来讲,你只是一小块生命而已。

 

The Value of Relationships  

关系的价值

 

You are makingdeals and relationships with people for various purposes. This not only appliesto the relationship between husband and wife, but also relationships withbusiness partners, friends, children, parents, and so on. Always remember youhave entered the relationship to fulfill your needs. They may have entered therelationship for their needs, but that is not your business. Your business isto understand that they are valuable to your life.

你出于各种目的与人们达成协议、建立关系。这不仅限于夫妻关系,还包括生意伙伴、朋友、孩子、父母及其他各种关系。永远记住,你进入关系当中是为了满足你的需要。他们进入关系当中或许是要满足他们的需要,但这跟你没有关系。你要懂得的是,他们对你的生命是有价值的。

 

They are addingvalue to who you are. When you are aware of that, you will manage therelationship in one way. If you think you are of great value to someone, youwill manage the relationship in another way, which may not allow it to lastlong. Or you may be doing all the right things and still it may go wrong. Whicheverway it is, it is your business to make yourselfinto a pleasant and wonderful piece of life. With or withoutsomeone, please make it happen.

他们为你的生命增加了价值。当你意识到这一点,你就会以某种方式经营你的关系。而如果你认为你对别人具有巨大的价值,你就会以另一种方式经营这份关系,而这可能会使这份关系无法持久。或者你可能所有事情都做对了,但还是会出现问题。无论是哪种情形,你所要做的就是让自己成为一个愉悦且美妙的生命。不管是否有其他人在一起,请做到这一点。

 

Love&Grace,

Sadhguru

爱与恩典

萨古鲁

文章来源:isha.sadhguru.org/global/en/wisdom/article/what-to-do-when-someone-lets-you-down
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