怎样才能拥有最美妙的关系?
发布日期:2018-05-04 11:14
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Sadhguru: There are many types of relationships that you hold in your life. There are neighbors, friends, wives, husbands, children, parents, siblings, lovers, there are people who hate each other, everything is a relationship. Fundamentally, all relationships in your life have come up because you have certain needs to fulfill – physical, mental, emotional, social, financial and so on. You try to establish a certain type of relationship to fulfill whatever kind of need you have. If that need is not fulfilled, that relationship cannot be.

萨古鲁:在你的生命中有很多种关系。有邻居、朋友、妻子、丈夫、孩子、父母、兄弟姐妹、爱人,还有记恨彼此的人,这一切都是关系。根本上,你生命中所有关系之所以会出现是因为你有某种需求需要被满足——身体方面、心智方面、情感方面、社交方面、财务方面,等等。你试着建立某种关系去满足你的各种需求。如果那种需求没有被满足,相应的关系就不会存在。

 

There is another way to exist experientially where one can exist without any relationships. One is so complete within himself that it does not matter. But right now, for most people, the quality of their relationships decides the quality of their life. So let’s see how we can have the most beautiful relationship, every moment of our lives, wherever we are. If you look at it, you are trying to somehow make yourself happy by building different types of relationships and doing different types of activities. You make friends, you get married, you have children, you start businesses – you do everything – because somewhere you believe this will bring you happiness. You built all these relationships in pursuit of happiness. Or in other words, somewhere you are trying to squeeze some happiness out of people. Once you do this, relationships will be a constant trouble. You cannot do without it, you cannot do with it. There is no sense of joy or happiness within you, and you are trying to extract it from somebody, and that person is trying to extract it from you. This is bound to become a battle.

还有一种存在方式——从体验层面来说,即使没有任何关系,一个人也可以存在。一个人内在是如此得完整,有没有关系对他不重要。但是现在,对大多数人来说,关系的品质决定了他们生活的品质。所以让我们看一下,在我们生命的每个时刻,不管我们在哪儿,怎样才能拥有最美妙的关系。如果你看一下,你在设法试图通过建立不同类型的关系和做不同类型的活动让自己开心。你交朋友、结婚、要孩子、做生意——所有事情——因为某种程度上你相信这会带给你快乐。你为了追求快乐而建立所有这些关系。或者换句话说,其实你是在试图从他人身上榨取出一些快乐。一旦你这样做,关系就会变得麻烦不断。没有它你不可以,有它你也不可以。在你内在没有喜悦感和幸福感,你在试着从他人身上获取它,而那个人也在试图从你身上获取这种感觉。这注定会变成一场战役。

 

If relationships have to be really beautiful, it is very important that a human being turns inward and looks at himself in a very deep way before he looks at somebody else. If you become a source of joy by yourself and your relationships are about sharing your joy, not squeezing joy out of somebody, then you would have wonderful relationships with anybody. Is there anybody in the world who would have any problem with you if you are going there to share your joy with them? No. You are trying to extract joy from them, that is where the problem is. Relationships have become a problem because we are not using it to enhance our lives. We are trying to fill the gaps in our lives with relationships.

如果要有非常美妙的关系,那么非常重要的一点是,一个人要转向内在,在审视他人之前,先深深地审视自我。如果你自己变成了喜悦的来源,你的关系是为了分享你的喜悦,而不是从别人身上获取喜悦,那么你和任何人都会有很好的关系。如果你是要去与人分享你的喜悦,那么这个世界上还会有人对你有问题吗?没有。你在试图从他人身上获取快乐,那就是问题之所在。关系之所以成为问题,是因为我们不是用它来提升生命。我们试图用关系来填补生活中的空白。

 

If your relationship is about extracting something out of somebody, it does not matter how much you manage, there will be constant trouble. If your relationship was an offering to the person who is next to you right now, then everything would be fantastic.

如果你的关系是为了从某人身上获得什么,那么不管你怎么去经营,总是会麻烦不断。如果你的关系是对你身边人的一种奉献,那么一切都会美妙无比。

 

Love&Grace,

Sadhguru

爱与恩典

萨古鲁

文章来源:isha.sadhguru.org/blog/sadhguru/masters-words/sadhguru-on-relationships
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