V. V. S. Laxman: yes, Sadhguru, I want to know the truth about parenting. As a child and youth, I wanted to be free, wanted to live my life on my terms. I think it’s the same for every generation. Is it ok to give our kids the freedom and allow them to make their decision? Where do we draw the line or should we draw the line at all? What is your advice for us to be perfect parents?
V. V. S. Laxman：是的，Sadhguru，我想知道关于养育子女的真理。当我是个孩子，是个青年时，我想要自由，想根据自己的主张去生活。我想每一代人都是如此。我们是否应该给孩子们自由，让他们自己做主呢？界线应该在哪里？又或者到底该不该有界线呢？如何成为完美的父母，您有什么建议？
Sadhguru: Namaskaram Laxman, we have thoroughly enjoyed the skills that have hidden in your wrists on the cricket field of course. And when it comes to parenting, see this idea that we have to raise our children, is a very western idea. You just have to allow them to grow, you should not raise them, you only raise cattle, you don’t raise human beings, you just have to create atmosphere of love, joy and responsibility.
In your question, you use the word “freedom”, freedom is a bad word, you should never utter the word freedom, nor should your children get used to the word freedom. You must always bring a sense of responsibility, for their well-being, their health, their growth, and their ability to respond to every dimension of life. This must be brought into their life. If there is necessary responsible existence, freedom is a consequence.
This is a fundamental problem we have in the world today, because we have become goal-oriented. We are interested in the consequence, we are not interested in the process. If you want flowers in the garden, you don’t talk about flowers. If you are a good gardener, you will never talk about flowers. You will talk about soil, manure, water, sunlight. If you manage these things, wonderful flowers would come. Similarly, if you manage the conditions necessary for a beautiful blossoming of a child, then children will blossom.
But if you try to raise them, hahaha, according to the molds that one may hold in their own minds, every child will rebel because no life can fit into the molds that you create in your mind. Life cannot fit into the molds of the mind, mind has to fit into our life. This must be understood. So let’s not have the big ideas about how to raise a child, just maintain an atmosphere of absolute love, joyfulness, and responsibility.
Above all, in their parents, let the children never see resentment, jealousy, frustration, depression, anger, you will see your children will blossom absolutely wonderfully, because if you take care of the process, the results will come. But if you focus on the consequence, and not taking care of the process, your consequence or the consequence that you desire will just be a dream.