该给孩子自由,让孩子做主吗?| 青年与真理系列
发布日期:2018-09-01 09:39
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这个问题是此次“青年与真理”提问活动中,V.V.S. Laxman向萨古鲁提问的问题;V.V.S. Laxman是印度著名板球运动员,印度帕德玛奖(Padma Shri award)获得者,曾被评选为年度五位最佳板球运动员之一。在家庭教育中,很多孩子和父母都会遇到这个问题,“是否应该给孩子自由,让孩子自己做主?”对于这个问题,萨古鲁是如何回答的,请观看视频与阅读下面的文章。

 

V. V. S. Laxman: yes, Sadhguru, I want to know the truth about parenting. As a child and youth, I wanted to be free, wanted to live my life on my terms. I think it’s the same for every generation. Is it ok to give our kids the freedom and allow them to make their decision? Where do we draw the line or should we draw the line at all? What is your advice for us to be perfect parents?

V. V. S. Laxman:是的,Sadhguru,我想知道关于养育子女的真理。当我是个孩子,是个青年时,我想要自由,想根据自己的主张去生活。我想每一代人都是如此。我们是否应该给孩子们自由,让他们自己做主呢?界线应该在哪里?又或者到底该不该有界线呢?如何成为完美的父母,您有什么建议?

 

Sadhguru: Namaskaram Laxman, we have thoroughly enjoyed the skills that have hidden in your wrists on the cricket field of course. And when it comes to parenting, see this idea that we have to raise our children, is a very western idea. You just have to allow them to grow, you should not raise them, you only raise cattle, you don’t raise human beings, you just have to create atmosphere of love, joy and responsibility.

萨古鲁:你好,Laxman。我们非常享受你手腕下隐藏的技巧,当然我是说在板球场上。说到养育子女,要知道,“养孩子”是个非常西方的概念。你只需要让他们去成长,你不应该去养他们。只有牛需要“养”,人不需要。你只需要创造一个充满爱、喜悦和责任感的环境。

 

In your question, you use the word “freedom”, freedom is a bad word, you should never utter the word freedom, nor should your children get used to the word freedom. You must always bring a sense of responsibility, for their well-being, their health, their growth, and their ability to respond to every dimension of life. This must be brought into their life. If there is necessary responsible existence, freedom is a consequence. 

在你的问题中,你用了“自由”这个词。“自由”不是个好词,你永远不该说出“自由”这个词,你的孩子也不应该习惯于“自由”这个词。你应该始终带给他们一种责任感,为了他们的幸福,健康,成长,以及他们回应生命每个维度的能力——这必须被带入他们的生命。如果有必要的责任感,那么自由就是随之而来的结果。

 

This is a fundamental problem we have in the world today, because we have become goal-oriented. We are interested in the consequence, we are not interested in the process. If you want flowers in the garden, you don’t talk about flowers. If you are a good gardener, you will never talk about flowers. You will talk about soil, manure, water, sunlight. If you manage these things, wonderful flowers would come. Similarly, if you manage the conditions necessary for a beautiful blossoming of a child, then children will blossom. 

这是当今这个世界上,我们面对的一个根本问题。因为我们已经变成了目标导向型,我们关心结果,不关心过程。如果你想要花园里开花,你不要去谈论花朵。如果你是个好园丁,你永远不会谈论花朵。你会谈论土壤、肥料、水、日光。如果你照料好这些,就会开出美丽的花朵。同样,如果你能照料好让孩子绽放所需的环境,那么孩子就会绽放。

 

But if you try to raise them, hahaha, according to the molds that one may hold in their own minds, every child will rebel because no life can fit into the molds that you create in your mind. Life cannot fit into the molds of the mind, mind has to fit into our life. This must be understood. So let’s not have the big ideas about how to raise a child, just maintain an atmosphere of absolute love, joyfulness, and responsibility. 

但如果你试图去养他们,根据头脑中已有的模子去养他们,那么每个孩子都会反抗,因为没有生命能够满足你头脑所创造的模子。生命不可能适应头脑的模子,头脑得来适应我们的生命。你们必须明白这个。所以,咱们别去想那些该如何养孩子的大道理,只要维持好一个充满爱、喜悦和责任感的环境就好。

 

Above all, in their parents, let the children never see resentment, jealousy, frustration, depression, anger, you will see your children will blossom absolutely wonderfully, because if you take care of the process, the results will come. But if you focus on the consequence, and not taking care of the process, your consequence or the consequence that you desire will just be a dream.  

最重要的是,永远别让孩子从父母那里看到憎恨、嫉妒、沮丧、抑郁或气愤。如果做到了这点,你的孩子将会美好地绽放。因为如果你照顾好过程,结果自然会是好的。但是如果你只关注结果,不管过程,那么结果或你渴望的结果就只会是个梦。

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