Isha视频-萨古鲁:如何应对霸道的伴侣
发布日期:2018-03-13 15:21
 

Questioner: Sadhguru, Namaskaram, how to conduct oneself when, you know, when you have a very exploitative spouse, you know?

提问者:萨古鲁,您好,请问,该如何把控自己,当你拥有一位非常霸道的伴侶时?

 

Sadhguru: You’re talking about how to conduct him or yourself?

萨古鲁:你是在问该如何把控他,还是你自己?

 

Questioner: Myself.

提问者:自己。

 

Sadhguru: No, actually you want to know how to fix him, right?

萨古鲁:不,事实上你想知道该如何“修理他”,对吧?

 

Questioner: No, Sadhguru.

提问者:不是的,萨古鲁。

 

Sadhguru: So this is very important, I’m particularly talking to you. Please sit down. It’s very important that we are straight with life, do you understand? What you want is your husband fixed, but because you’re sitting in front of me you’re saying, “Sadhguru, how do I fix myself to fit into this exploitation?”, which is not the truth. You want to know how to fix the man, Yes or no? Please tell me, all the ladies. If you perceive him, we don’t know what he is, we’re not talking about your husband. I do not know what he is but if you perceive him as exploitative, obviously you want to fix him, isn’t it? If you perceive yourself as a problematic wife, then maybe some thought about, “Maybe I want to fix myself,” will come up. When you perceive somebody as exploitative, the intention is to fix them, isn’t it? 

萨古鲁:这一点很重要,我特别要和你说,请坐下。在我们的生命中,坦率是非常重要的,你明白吗?你想要的,是你的丈夫被修理好。但现在,因为我坐在你面前,你就说,“萨古鲁,我应该如何修理好我自己,才能适应他的霸道?”你说的不是事实,你想知道的是要如何去修正他,是不是?请告诉我吧,各位女士。如果你认为这人,我们不知这人是谁,现在我们不是说你的丈夫,我不肯定他是什么样子的。但是如果你认为他是霸道的,那么很明显,你是想去修正他,对不对?如果你自认为是一位有问题的妻子,那么你可能会有“我可能需要修理好自己”的念头出现。当你认定他霸道之时,你的意图就是去修理他,对不对?

 

But we wouldn’t want to be straight about that, because the culture doesn’t tell you, the culture tells you “Fixing your husband is not a good thing, you must fix yourself.” So if you get a headache, go for a foot surgery, then the foot will be aching more than the head kind of fixed. At least your attention is gone.

但是我们可能不想太坦白,因为这个文化不是这样的。这里的文化告诉你:“修理你的丈夫是不妥当的,你应该修好你自己。”那么如果你头痛了,就去做脚的手术,然后你的脚会比你的头更加痛,问题就差不多解决了,起码你的注意力不在了。是吗?

 

So it’s time, if we are concerned about life it’s time, that we are one hundred percent straight,at least with ourselves. Maybe in the world, we don’t know what profession you have, what situations you have, we don’t know how straight you can be. I will not interfere with that, but at least with yourself you must be hundred percent straight, very important. Otherwise, neither yourself nor your life situations will ever get fixed, simply complaining and going on.

所以是时候了,如果我们关注的是生命,那么是时候了,我们要百分之百地坦率,起码要对自己这样。可能在这世道中,我们不知你是什么职业的,你处在何种情境中,我们不知道你可以坦率到什么程度,我不会去干预,但是至少你应该百分之百地对自己坦率。这很重要。否则,你或你的生活永远得不到改善,你只会继续抱怨着。

 

Life will be a lifelong complaint for a whole lot of people, because they don’t want to address it, they want to beat around it. So, husband-fixing program we must do. No, we have fixed a whole lot of them, because they become meditative and suddenly, their exploitative nature went away, because now they’re busy with something else. So I...don’t want to get into a personal situation right now here, but you must bring meditativeness into you and into your family. This is something we have to invest into life now. If you’re not able to fix your husband, at least you must have a wish, that the next generation of husbands are not exploitative. If you’re interested in that, you must make sure your little boy that you have right now, you must fix him now with some meditation, Yes?

对很多人而言,他们一辈子都在抱怨,因为他们不想直接去面对和解决问题,他们只是在绕圈子。所以,我们应该开设“丈夫修理课程”。不,我们已修理好一大群人了,因为他们变得具有冥想特质,突然间,他们的霸道本性消失无踪了。因为他们现在有其它事情在忙了。那么我......现在不想太深入探究个人问题,但是你要做的是将冥想特质带进你及你的家庭,这是我们应该对生命做的投资。如果你不能修好你的丈夫,那么起码你要希望下一代的丈夫是不霸道的。如果你有意愿的话,你应该确定现在你家的小男孩,应该用冥想去修正他。对吗?

 

Meditation is not about fixing him against something. It is just that meditativeness means to become in such a way that you are not the source of the problem. Wherever you are, you’re a solution, you’re not a problem. If you become a solution, everybody will want you wherever you are, isn’t it? Whether it’s your workplace, your family, on the street, wherever, whoever seems like a solution, that person everybody wants, Yes or no? Either you are a problem or you are one who complains about problems, nobody wants to see your face. You must know this. But if you’re a solution, everybody wants you everywhere, including your husband. He will desperately want you if you are a solution to his life. Yes? So it’s important, not just you as a person. I’m saying everybody, it’s important we understand.

冥想不是针对他的某个问题,冥想只是意味着,你不再是制造问题的源头。无论身处何地,你是问题的解决者,而不是问题的制造者。如果你成为了解决者不管在哪里,每一个人都会想要你,不是吗?不论是你工作的地方、你的家庭、在街上,不论在哪里,只要看起来像是个解决问题的人,每人都会想要他,是不是?如果你成了问题的源头,或者你成为了经常抱怨问题的那个人,那么沒人会想看到你的脸。你应该知道这个。但是如果你成为了问题的解决者,每一个人都想与你在一起,包括你的丈夫,他会迫切地想要与你一起,如果你成为了他生命中的解救者,对吧?所以这很重要,不只是你,我是在跟这里的每一个人说,明白这点是很重要的。

 

We need to understand, if we don’t make this (Referring to oneself) piece of life a pleasant piece of life, first of all, this is the fundamental thing. If you do this, after that you decide whether you need marriage, you don’t need marriage, you need children, you don’t need children, all these things you decide later. When this (Referring to oneself) is miserable, you have no business to multiply it. Yes or no? 

我们必须明白,首先,如果我们不能让自己成为一个愉悦的生命......这是最根本的事,如果你这样做,就可以好好决定,你需要婚姻还是不需要,你需要小孩还是不需要,所有这些东西你都可以决定。当这个(自己)是痛苦的,你就不应该去扩大它(延伸给其他人),对不对?

 

"Misery,I can’t get along with my husband. I can’t get along with my wife." Already children, children, children coming, why? If you cannot get along, how is this happening? Because...we have chosen to live unconsciously. I’m not saying live this way or that way. Whatever the hell you do, you do it by choice and consciously, that’s all, knowing the full implications of what it means. Yes? That much responsibility everybody must take, isn’t it? If you do not bring it into this, you will be a lifelong complaint. 

“痛苦啊,我和我丈夫处不来”,“我和我妻子处不来”。但是一个又一个小孩就出来了,为什么?如果你们都相处不来,为什么还要小孩?因为......我们选择了无意识地生活。我不是在说你要这样或那样生活。无论你做什么,都是出于你有意识的选择,仅此而已。你完全清楚知道它意味着什么,以及所有的后果,对吗?这点责任每个人都必须承担,不是吗?如果你不能把这点(责任)带进來,你将会一辈子都在抱怨中度过。

 

I will not tell you how to deal with your marriage. You bring this much into your life before marriage. “No Sadhguru, I didn’t want, but my parents, you know, I got married.” After marriage, “I don’t want to live in this marriage, but my children, you know?” After the children have grown up, “But, you know, I have to wait for my grandchildren.” See, you have made yourself in such a way that you are a result of an unconscious process, you are not a result of a conscious process. When you are a result of an unconscious process, you are bound to be a miserable accident. Yes?

我不会告诉你要如何处理自己的婚姻,你只要把这一点带入你的生命。结婚前你说,“不,萨古鲁,我不想的,但是我父母,您知道的,我结婚了。”结婚后你说,“我不想活在这场婚姻里,但是我的孩子,您知道吗?”然后孩子长大了,你又会说:“但是您知道的,我要等待我的孙儿啊!”看吧,你把自己变成这样,你成为了无意识行为的后果,你不是通过有意识的选择塑造自己。当你成为了无意识行为的产物,你就注定成为一个糟糕的偶然。是吗?

 

It’s time, every human being takes responsibility to at least change this much, then we can talk about big things, reaching the peak of your consciousness, mukthi, moksha. Don’t utter these words cheaply. Don’t utter these words. First fix the fundamentals. The fundamentals are just this, whatever the hell you are right now, it’s yours. Either you must have the courage to change it or you must learn to settle into it. Yes? Yes or no? You must. Either you must have the courage to change it or you must learn to settle into it, one of these things you must do. Simply endless complaint for the rest of your life is no good. It is just that we must understand if we are in a certain state, everything feels like it’s against us. You fix this (Referring to oneself), after that you decide which way your life should be.

现在是时候了,每个人都要负起责任,至少做出这点改变,然后我们才可能去谈更大的东西,到达意识的巅峰、解脱,等等。觉醒、解脱,不要随便地说出这些词,不要说出这些词。首先修理好基本的,基本的只是,无论你现在正经历什么,那都是你(造成的),你必须要有勇气去改变它,或者你必须学会去接受、适应它。对吧?是不是?你必须要有勇气去改变它,否则你要学会去适应它,你得两者选其一。只是一辈子没完没了地抱怨没有好处。只是,我们应该了解,如果我们处于某种状态中,好像一切都在和我们对抗,你要先修正这个 (自己)。然后你才决定你的人生该如何。

 

You stay there, there’s a consequence, you get out, there’s a consequence. Everything there is a consequence, But at least let it be a conscious consequence, instead of being a helpless, unconscious state of existence.

你留下来,会有一种结果。你跳出去,会有另一种结果。所有事情都有其结果,但是至少让它成为有意识的结果,而不是一种无助、毫无意识的存在状态。

 

Love&Grace,

Sadhguru

爱与恩典

萨古鲁

 

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